Misadventures of a Middle Aged Dad

Ho, hum...

2010-04-11T14:32:00.003-06:00

It amazes me how many bog posts begin with an explanation or apology regarding how long it's been since the last post. I have done that myself and have sworn to be more regular about blogging. It usually doesn't work. I have been spending most of my online time either doing homework, or on Facebook. I haven't blogged in over 6 months, and have only posted 6 times in the last year. BUT, I am not going the usual apologize and commit route. I am going to do what I can and no more. As much as I would like to blog regularly (there is some therapeutic value to it), I have more important things, like school and family.

I am blogging because I am feeling a little melancholy today. I have some ideas why, but I'm not certain exactly why. I have the bulk of my homework done for the weekend, dinner is already made and waiting to go in the oven, the house is clean enough to be tolerable. Should be fine, right? Some of the reasons I can see I would be down include the fact that I have so little down time, I get a bit stressed. I watch TV to relax on the weekend, and something always comes up to keep me up too late, and I have a hard time getting up for church on Sunday. I need that input and haven't had it in weeks. My wife works the graveyard shift on the weekends, so it falls to me to get the 3 girls fed and ready for church, as well as myself. My asthma has been kicked up for 2 weeks, and won't mellow out completely, in spite of stepping up my treatment. Being up late with a kid who didn't feel well on Friday, I didn't get even half of my task list done on Saturday, and I'm frustrated that it usually turns out that way.

And the big one...my weight. I had started a separate blog to chronicle my wight loss efforts, but the lack of entries over the last 2 years only points to my lack of success. I have been meaning for weeks to get serious about weight loss again, but can't seem to get started. I am now back up to my highest weight ever. I tried signing up for a wellness program through my work, but unless I take time out of my workday, I can't start it until the end of the month.

So, now that I've rambled on and on...what's next?

A Minor Majority

2009-10-01T23:51:00.001-06:00

Being a Mormon is a strange and peculiar thing, even in Utah…sometimes, especially in Utah. I live at the U of U in family housing, and it’s an interesting climate. A friend of mine once commented on his experience as a U student. He said: “There are 3 kinds of students at the U: Mormons, Non-Mormons, and Ex-Mormons, and the Ex-Mormons are by far the most vocal.” I have found this to be true. Even though Mormons are a clear majority in Salt Lake County, and any political pollster will tell you that Utah is clearly a Republican state, I often feel like a minority. I have taken a few classes at the U, and often felt that to speak my mind would invite attack. There was no open dialogue, no free exchange of ideas. If you weren’t liberal, your opinions were not tolerated. My wife has told me of professors who openly Bush Bash, and act as if anyone who disagrees with Obama is mentally flawed. I wouldn’t even think about voicing an opinion against gay marriage.

The U has an office of Diversity Affairs…I recently considered emailing them to say that, in my opinion, they had failed in their mission, as there is no acceptance for Conservatives and Republicans. For evidence of this, one need look no farther than the Student Union in the month prior to an Election. The flyers you see are overwhelmingly Democrat; the guest lecturers are overwhelmingly liberal in their viewpoints and politics. The Student Union Calendar lists holidays from 5 religions between November and January, but no mention of Christmas. How is Christmas not on the calendar??

For some liberals, diversity and acceptance are only practiced if it fits THEIR viewpoint. I once had a boss say “oh, John, we need to talk” when she heard of some of my “whitebread” music tastes. I actually said “so much for diversity,” but she missed the point. She said that the group in question could never be called diverse. (I didn’t point out that one band can’t be called diverse, and that’s improper grammar…diversity applies to the make up of a larger demographic.) Again, they embrace diversity, but only when it fits their narrow definition.

Even though Mormons are the Majority here, it is acceptable to attack them in ways that would never be tolerated if the targets were Black or Jewish. Think I am exaggerating? Go to sltrib.com and pick any 5 news stories at random (news, not just sports or entertainment) and read the comments. I would bet that at least 3 of the 5 have Mormon Bashing comments. For example, a recent story about Hogle Zoo funding had a comment about “public funding for the monument to the cult across the street.” This is the Place Monument is across the street from the zoo. It is supported by church funds and admission money…no public tax funds pay for anything there.

So, even though I am in the majority, it often does not feel like it. To quote Binkley from Bloom County, I’m a “middle class white Christian male, and there are darn few of us left!”

poems of frustration

2009-07-21T18:28:00.004-06:00

I wrote these a few months ago when things weren't going well, and I was rather depressed...as you can tell.

Troubles come in waves,

washing over me

receding for a time

only to threaten

to overwhelm me again

I sit in the breakers

Unable to remove myself

From their grip

Unable to grasp

The hope that I

Will ever reach high ground

The future is a tease

A taunt

A promise of what is to come

Only to tell you that

You can’t have it yet

Just wait, it says

Wait until tomorrow

Only tomorrow

Never comes

Hi. My name is John, and I'm a word snob.

2009-07-19T14:29:00.006-06:00

My wife has a number of "food issues." Foods that she will not eat, or won't eat except in certain ways or under certain conditions. She has said that there can't be any gristle or fat on her meat...nothing to remind her that it came from an animal. She used to say "yucky broccoli" is if it were one word. I tease her about being a food snob.

That being said, I have to own up to being a word snob. I am. Grammar mistakes rub me the wrong way. People with Master's degrees who say fustrated or flustrated for example. Or writing sillyness instead of silliness or other word where they y should be changed to an ie. Using there instead of their or them instead of those are less frustrating, in that they are actual words. (Still, I can appreciate good Tigger words, such as ridictical and unbusticated as they are meant to be tongue in cheek.)

My biggest pet peeve is the gratuitous use of the apostrophe. (Gasp!) I know, the very phrase is snobbish. Still, it bothers me (note that I didn't write it bother's me). It's like getting carried away with the decorations until a room just looks gaudy. The simplest way to explain the rule is that you use an apostrophe to show possession or to replace something missing (like the o from is not becoming isn't).

Why do these things bother me? I'm not sure. Between being an avid reader (bordering on voracious) and grammar classes I took in college, I know a great deal about how words should be put together. I also think you sell yourself short when you speak poorly (think about every sterotype of a redneck or trailer trash...speaking poorly is always a part of selling that image).

So, yes, I am a snob. I never said I was perfect.

Thanks to ijnek/syel, Eva the Weaver and kokogiak for allowing use of their pictures.

The Lady or the Tiger

2009-07-13T00:25:00.007-06:00

When faced with the choice of the Lady or the Tiger, the main character of the story clearly knew what he wanted, just didn’t know which door held a warm embrace and which held claws and jaws.

But what if each door is clearly labeled and you still don’t know which one is best?

That’s the choice I face…between 2 very good and positive choices, and I can’t do both.

I have a family reunion coming up next month, and it’s out of state. Going to the family reunion is a good ambition…renewing old acquaintances and forging new bonds, kids getting to know their cousins, aunts and uncles, spending time with the wife and kids when it’s not all about bills, chores, and errands,etc. Besides, we REALLY need a getaway.

Here’s the obstacle…to go, we need $$. We need to do $600-800 in car repairs, and the trip will cost $900 (and that may be a conservative estimate).

Now, by show of hands, how many of you have that kind of money just sitting around earning interest?? Come on, raise them high…Anyone? Anyone? (Bueller? Bueller?)

I didn’t think so.

If we go, we would have to go deeper into debt to make the trip, and I need a second job anyway, as we are not really making ends meet. I am looking for one, but having a hard time finding something that I can do, given my time constraints and other limitations.

If we don’t, not only will we miss out on the stress relief and the bonding time, but there will be a certain amount of depression about having missed out on vacation and reunion yet again.

So I am forced to choose between 2 equally good options…bond with family, or improve our financial situation. No matter which one I choose, I have to turn my back on the other. And they both have claws…much like the Lady and the Tiger.

Thanks to Matt Ephraim and Phoney Nickle for allowing use of the pics.

Facebook (vs blogging)

2009-07-05T13:35:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted on here in a while, as I tend to get my online fix from Facebook. I had looked to the blogosphere for some interaction, and that need/want is filled much better on Facebook. I still miss the writing part of blogging, and would like to do more of that. I have no idea if I will blog regularly, but I may blog just to write from time to time.

On my mind now is the Facebook phenomenon. I am loving it, as I have found so many friends that I had no way to contact. Some of them, I had thought if finding, but had no idea where to start. Some of them, I had actually tried to find, to no avail. Now, they're coming out of the woodwork! I have even "met" some new cousins and other relatives, as they marry into the family. I'm looking forward to meeting them in person at the family reunion coming up later this summer.

My last blog entry was on the death of an acquaintance from Flagstaff AZ where I used to live. I was rather surprised and saddened to hear of his passing, and needed to get my feelings sorted out. I took the post down (see previous post) with the intent of posting it again later, as a sort of tribute to this good man. I looked at it just now, and have decided it's too personal to post. Still, it helped me put my thoughts in order and sort out my feelings. You can't get that on Facebook. Not really.

I still like to write, though, so I will keep my toe in this pool too. For those of you who have read my blog (all 4 of you), feel free to add me on Facebook (just let me know your real name, so I don't delete the invite!).

Thanks to Facebook and Churl for the use of the pics.

sad news

2009-05-24T15:20:00.003-06:00

I just learned today that a friend of mine died this morning. I learned about it in Facebook...his brother put it in his status msg. I wrote a blog about it, but his widow asked that the Facebook note be taken down, as she was getting phone calls and wasn't ready for that yet. So...I have deleted my post as well, just to make sure it doesn't become a negative for her. I may repost it later.

2009-03-09T19:24:00.010-06:00

Let me tell you about my relationship with Sleep.
We had a deep friendship, but we have drifted.
You could say we have a nodding acquaintance,
And when we get together, it is often brief and restless.

I frequently wish for more,
But with how busy and hectic life can be…
Sometimes there’s just no time.
Oh well, one can dream.

Stress? What stress?

2009-03-08T18:32:00.003-06:00

Several weeks ago, a coworker asked me in an IM what had been stressful in my life…is that a loaded question or what?!? Here’s the gist of my response:

My Durango died an unspectactular but fairly final death on Christmas eve day so we got rid of it, we had to buy another used car (with money we didn’t have) which had to go in the shop after only a day and a half (which cost $600 we didn’t have), we got hit with unexpected bills in Jan and Feb totaling another $1400 (which we didn’t have), my daughter is talking (again) about going to Australia for college, then decided she isn’t going (for now at least), my son is being difficult with everyone, my sister in law asked my brother for a divorce out of the blue, and in the last 2 weeks, I have had hives that lasted for days and bronchitis.

How are you?

In the end, we decided that as long as we can laugh about it, there’s hope.

Allow me to wax political for a moment

2009-02-22T14:41:00.005-07:00

I know I haven't posted on here in a while...I have become addicted to Facebook and all the people I am reconnecting with. I love it, even though my wife teases me about my addiction.

I have also fallen behind on checking my email...I haven't had enough time for it in a long time, but it's gotten worse lately - I had 535 unread emails this morning...after deleting the junk. These are funnies or commentary type emails, as well as more traditional communication.

One that I read today had this video included:

Here are the thoughts I sent to my friend...I don't usually get so soapbox-ish with friends, but wanted to put my feelings out there in a tactful way, seeing as we differ on this topic. Let me also say that I don't usually get so political on my blog, but I wanted to share this one.

Here is what I said:

I have mixed feelings about this video...we criticized him for not having experience, and now that he is surrounding himself with experienced advisers,he 's getting slammed for that too. I support the idea of surrounding himself with experienced people, but am not happy that many of them came from the Clinton admin.

As for the stimulus package, I have mixed feelings about that too. I am worried about the national debt, but am looking forward to what it can do for me. Since we have cut our income (of necessity), we can't handle the debt we have, and have gotten in deeper for the long term (or middle term) in trying to manage the short term. We are trying to learn better habits, but could use the stimulus help while we "learn to fish."

I didn't want the man in the office, but I like quite a few of the things he is doing...some changes (like limiting lobbyist influence for example) are ones that have been talked about, but no one has ever tried to do them. I like some of what is being done with the stimulus package, but there is the usual political wrangling and everyone is trying to get their pet projects on it as a rider.

Do I like all of his actions and stances? No. But overall, I think he's better than I thought he would be. Sadly, many in my own Republican party are looking bad when they dig in their heels and hold on to the party politics rather than assessing his ideas on their own merits...just like each party has done with the other party for years and years.

George Washington warned us about using a 2 party system. I wish we had listened.

I NEVER liked Clinton or anything he did in office...yes, I was one of THOSE. I'm sure you can think of some in your life who are that way with our current or most recent president. Now, I have come to be one of those who believes that we should support whoever is in office...not blindly, (being a blind follower is almost as bad as being a blind opposer) but by being engaged intellectually in what is going on in our country, state or city. I believe that we should give their ideas an honest chance, considering them on their own merits instead of just dismissing them because of who made the suggestion, or because their party.

Can you tell that I hate politics? You have no idea how much I wish we had listened to George Washington.

Places I've visited

2009-01-19T10:57:00.001-07:00

Create your own travel map or travel blog

Travel Info at TripAdvisor

Can't live with em...

2009-01-14T08:23:00.004-07:00

A used car means repairs. I thought I would have more of a reprieve than this.

That's right...our new (to us) car stranded us 36 hours after buying it. I got the kids all loaded up to drop them at the sitter on the way to work, and the dang thing wouldn't start. Wouldn't fire at all.

Stupid car.

Here's what I would like to do right about now:

(photo by Elsie)

Too bad that would be illegal. Oh well.

There are deals, and there are wheels

2009-01-12T22:54:00.004-07:00

We are now the semi-proud owners of a fairly used minivan.

Actually, it's a pretty good deal...a 1995 Mercury Villager with 98,000 miles (everything else in our price range had 115-125k, or even more). It has a few problems, for which we talked him down on the price, but it fits our family well. It was a serious scrape to get it, but we were able to do it (with a little bit of divine intervention). It's even my wife's favorite color.

It does have some problems, but nothing major. It needs a tune up, and may need a new water pump. Tires could stand replacing, but will have to do for now.

Here's a pic:

Notice the broken wheel cover? Body is in pretty good shape, though, as is the interior.

So, what do you think...deal, or just wheels?

What the... (kids say the darndest things)

2009-01-11T22:28:00.004-07:00

The other day, my Boo was in the play room doing her thing, when out of the blue, I hear her exclaim "crab nuts!" Certain that I couldn't have heard right, I asked "What did you just say?" Alas, my ears did not deceive.

Why, you may ask, is my 6 year old spouting off about a crustacean's privates? Well, I asked that very question (enquiring minds and all that). Still, I remained unenlightened. The closest thing I have to an answer is that she always says "Aw, nuts!" when disappointed, and for some inexplicable reason, she added the word crab to her usual protestation of dismay.

In other words, she said "crab nuts" because she just felt like it.

Go figure.

GTH pills

2009-01-09T20:36:00.004-07:00

Do you ever get tired of all the crap life throws at you? Do you ever just want to curl up and ignore life for a time (and tell the world to go to hell)??

Yeah, that's how I feel tonight.

I don't feel that way often, which, as a social work person, gives me comfort, but I feel that way tonight.

I remember as a young adult, my mom (who was dealing with the early stages of my dad's Alzheimer's disease) said that she wanted to go to the doctor and get some "go to hell" pills. I remember being rather surprised that she would use the "H" word, cause mom never even used the mild swear words. I was more curious about "go to hell" pills, though.

"What are 'go to hell' pills" I asked.
To which she responded "you take one and tell the world to 'go to hell!!'"

Where do I place my order??

Dickens of a year

2009-01-04T15:02:00.004-07:00

As I sat in church (testimony meeting) hearing people comment on the New Year, I started to reflect on my own 2008.

Dickens really had it right...it was the best and worst of times. I had been out of work for 6 months in 2006, and still haven't recovered, and with my wife in school, it was a hard year financially. We had car troubles that only added to our money problems, not to mention the crashing economy. My wife and I both had health problems this year that slowed us down, when we had a 2 year old who needed more energy from us, not less.

On the other hand, we had a lot of good things, too.

I survived layoffs at work, my son is working to make some very positive changes in his life, and I am making progress on debts, and can see the light at the end of the tunnel (next couple of months will be hard, but more bearable knowing that it's going to get better afterward). I posted a lot of my postives in a previous post:

I also know that I have many blessings to be grateful for: I have a good family, I
have an affordable place to live, I have a good job (and survived the recent
layoffs), I have a great ward at church with a fantastic bishop, I am
reconnecting with many old friends and acquaintances on facebook, etc, etc. In
spite of the things that could be improved in my life, I have a good life.

While I feel mixed about the good and bad this past year, I am pretty satisfied with where my life is at this point, and where I can see it going.

They Grow Up So Fast...

2009-01-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

My 20 year old got high heeled boots that go over her thigh. Boo (my 6 year old) put them on and had big sis help her zip them up. It was pretty funny. She wobbled like a weeble.

Good thing it's the last day of the year!

2008-12-31T17:18:00.007-07:00

I wrote the first part of this in an email to my wife this morning...

I am so frustrated. The train was 11 minutes late this morning, and since I only had a 6 minute wait for my connecting bus, I had to walk 20 minutes to work instead of 5. As I stood at the train station and wallowed in my frustration, it set off a kind of “year in review” thought process. (It wasn’t very pretty, at least not in the mood I was in.) I got on the train, and my Zune locked up on boot up, and now I can’t get it to reboot (a problem I later learned is being called the Zune 30 Midnight Meltdown). Not helping.

Here’s the short version of my review:

Since being out of work last year, my budget and credit rating are in the toilet, and going down fast. Debts up to my eyeballs, and just when I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I get a notice of garnishment from a debt I couldn’t manage while out of work. Not helping.

My car is headed for the junkyard, (not currently drivable) and I still owe a TON on it, adding weights to my sinking credit rating and budget. Not helping.

I have had health scares this year requiring hospitalization and a slew of new meds. I lost 20 lbs this year, but I am still in the super-obese category (I never thought of myself that way, but that’s the correct medical term). I get winded just walking and I’m SICK OF IT!! But then that gets me down, and what do I want to do?? Eat. Yeah, not helping.

Yes, we had a great Christmas vacation, but upon return to real life, the same problems were still there waiting for us.

Now that I have had some time the let it all digest (and deal with the ensuing acid stomach), here is what I would add as an addendum:

I also know that I have many blessings to be grateful. I have a good family, I have an affordable place to live, I have a good job (and survived the recent layoffs), I have a great ward at church with a fantastic bishop, I am reconnecting with many old friends and acquaintances on facebook, etc, etc. In spite of the things that could be improved in my life, I have a good life.

While I know that 2009 will start rough for me, I am looking forward to it improving, and expecting it to do so!

I know...it's a bit cliche' and even cheesy.

It is what it is.

MESSY FACE!!

2008-12-27T23:06:00.003-07:00

I play with my kids...a lot. I'm a big kid at heart, and love to play with my kids. At dinner, when one of them has something on her face, I'll point and in a sing-song voice say "MESSY FACE!!" They laugh, but the point is made. My 2 year old has started saying it, whether it applies or not (she still doesn't get it, but then my 6 year old is only now just beginning to get what knock-knock jokes are really about).

Yesterday after dinner, my 6 year old told me that I had messy face. I knew I didn't, so I placed the burden of proof on her. (Sounds much more mature than it was.) I asked "Where?" She pointed across her upper lip and said "all across here." I reminded her that this was just my mustache, to which she smugly replied "That makes you a messy face for life!!"

Darn kid is WAY too smart for her own good (or my comfort)!!

Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful (aka An Interesting Christmas)

2008-12-26T20:50:00.029-07:00

Long before the economy (and our budget) tanked, we purchased a trial membership in a timeshare. We had planned several trips that were spectacular...too much so, since we couldn't afford them. We were to a point of use it or lose it, so we made reservations for one of the nearby resorts for Christmas. We picked Wolf Creek, which is near the Wolf Creek ski resort.

We went up on Sunday, and stayed until today (Dec 26th). We spent a lot of time running errands, and spent too little time just sitting (as I had planned). Not being my home, I did get a bit restless just sitting, but enjoyed having a place to stay that was nicer and roomier than my dinky student apartment.

We ended up running back and forth for many reasons...my wife had a Sterling Singers concert Sunday night, we spent the day Monday doing business and finishing our Christmas Shopping, and met a relative in Logan Utah to trade presents before she traveled to Idaho. Some of the running was in a lot of snow. There were several snowstorms that probably approached blizzard conditions. Fortunately, we had just put new tires on the Durango (tires that we still have to pay for, since we had to borrow the money). We got a LOT of snow...36 inches in about 3 days. Note that this equals about a foot a day average...I think that's about right.

The big downside to our vacation was that we started having engine trouble and were told we need a new engine. This on top of other repairs it needs...now totalling around $5500. Needless to say, we can't do them, and have parked the car. Thank heaven for public transit!!

In spite of this (and a puking child), we enjoyed our vacation immensely. We really needed the down time, and it was great being able to relax and hang out with the family, without always having to be somewhere.

Too bad we had to come back to reality (...sigh!)

Here are some pics from our vacation...

This is a part of the view from our balcony

...and Boo sledding.

Our mantel, and what it looked like after Santa visited (below).

Little Cat got a "Little Einstimes" rocket and characters...she was so enraptured by this toy that we couldn't even get her to look up for a picture! 20 minutes later, we asked if she wanted to open another present, and got a terse "no." Again, she didn't even look up from playing.

Below, Punkin with her favorite toy...a Mystery Machine and the whole Scobby Doo gang!

Punkin sitting with Bubby... Heather chillin... and Little Cat playing shy (emphasis on playing...she's definitely NOT shy!).

Rudolph Rant

2008-12-18T22:07:00.008-07:00

OK, I tease my wife about her Rudolph Rants, but here I go with one of my own...

There is a humor columnist I like to follow in the Salt Lake Tribune. His name is Robert Kerby. I recently read an article of his about saying Merry Christmas, and how the PC police make it out to be Federal crime to be what they consider Politically Incorrect.

Check out the comments on that article (linked above)…this one was my fav:

Soon after moving to Utah from Japan , I was about to enter a downtown office building and, much like Kirby, held the door open for someone approaching the door at the same time. She stopped, gave me a glare and said, "You don't have to open the door for me just because I'm a woman!" Nonplussed, I responded: "I didn't open the door for you because you are a lady; I opened it because I am a gentleman."

I agree with the article. I also think that some people are just looking to be offended. When did it become my job to keep their nose in joint?!? Why can't people take a greeting in the spirit it's intended?? Maybe I'm offended by their offense!

I used to have a boss who was a Muslim from Iran. He didn't practice Christmas, (or Hanukkah, Yule, Kwanzaa, or Groundhog Day for that matter). He used to wish me Merry Christmas, knowing what that would mean for me. When in Rome, you know? I liked that, and respected him for that consideration, among other reasons. If he had wished me Happy Ramadan, I would have said "thank you, you too." If I had a friend who celebrated Alien Visitation day instead of Christmas, I would like to think that I would heartily wish him "Klaatu barada nikto!" or whatever they wish each other.

These PC people think they are being so enlightened for embracing Political Correctness. Yet in insisting people don't say Merry Christmas, I think they are merely being intolerant. How un-PC of them! How contradictory! Shame on them! They should be reported!!!

Ode to Winter - A Rhyme

2008-12-17T22:29:00.003-07:00

It’s cold this morning,
I don’t want to wake up.
Toddler climbs in my bed,
Now I’m all shook up.

With aches and pains,
I walk to the bath.
The shower’s too cold,
I’ll show maintenance my wrath.

I towel off and dress
Just as quick as I can.
Turn up the heat,
And on comes the fan.

It snowed all night,
Now my car I must brush
I load the kids up,
And I leave in a rush.

The roads were all slick
My tires were bald.
With gut clenched in fear,
“Look out, jerk!” I called.

Dropped the kids at the sitter
As I left, they did wail,
Then I crept down the road
At the pace of a snail.

I look back on my trip
As I sit here at work,
Suddenly being inside
Is now such a perk.

As I sit at my desk,
I think “what the hay,
Maybe next year I’ll buy me
A horse and a sleigh!”

getting out of debt

2008-12-14T10:15:00.006-07:00

Found this on a friend's blog and had to add it.

I wish it were this simple (I mean, it is, but it isn't...see what I mean!)

Not so kid-friendly part 2

2008-12-11T21:45:00.004-07:00

Here is the response I got from The Mayan Adventure:

John,

I was horrified to hear about your experience at the Mayan Restaurant and wanted to quickly respond to your e-mail with my apologies. The fact that you were forced to wait for so long for your food, couldn’t get refills in a timely manner and still did not receive the service that the Mayan Restaurant is famous for is very distressing to me and I wanted to immediately apologize for the incident.

We have been tirelessly laboring to ensure the best in customer service. The 18% gratuity is a standard practice among restaurants for parties of 8 or more, but because of the horrible service received, I would like to refund the gratuity back to your credit card with your permission. Simply let me know the last 4 digits of the credit card used and the date that you visited us and I’d be happy to take care of that.

Again, I apologize for your experience. Please let me know, at your convenience, the last 4 digits of the credit card used so that I can refund your gratuity. I also wanted to let you know that partially because of your correspondence, the Mayan Restaurant will no longer charge for additional salsa. Thank you for your letter and I hope to have you back at The Mayan.

Sincerely,

Asst. General Manager
The Mayan Adventure

Here is what I sent them:

We visited The Mayan on (date and credit card info included here). The manager who did almost nothing was a woman of medium hight, thin with light brown hair.

I would like to ask about the kid size spoons...is that something that will be stocked now? Also, I would like to suggest that in the future, a scoop of ice cream with some sprinkles or whipped cream would go a long way when someone has a birthday. It would cost very little, and would create a lot more goodwill than that $25 package. Then, if they want to upgrade to the $25 package, they don't feel forced into it, or that they don't have options.

Thank you for your response. I appreciate the changes you have indicated you will make, as well as your offer to be your guest. It would be difficult to return in December...would January work?

How would you have handled this?

I had to open my mouth!

2008-12-08T21:37:00.002-07:00

I commented on another blog that I could wait for snow, as long as it's here in time for Christmas.

We got dumped on today.

Shoulda kept quiet.

Not so kid-friendly after all

2008-12-07T22:56:00.006-07:00

My Boo turned 3 recently, and wanted to go to a local theme restaurant called The Mayan Adventure. It's a pretty cool environment that I would describe as Indiana Jones meets the Swiss Family Robinson. They even have cliff divers and/or fire dancers every 15 minutes. They used to have animatronic birds that would move and talk, which was very attractive to the kids. Now, as I watched the (very cool) fire dancers, I kept thinking "I hope my 3 year old doesn't try this." I simply said "we don't do that, do we?" to which she replied, "no, we don't."

There were many other problems with our experience, but rather than try to re-describe the experience, I am just going to include my complaint to The Mayan's parent Company - Larry H. Miller, Inc. (owner of the Utah Jazz, numerous auto dealerships, a TV station, etc., etc., etc.). By the way, while I usually link to the places I mention in my blog, I am not doing so this time, as I don't want to do anything to increase traffic to their site. I will include a link to the Deseret News story on the cliff divers and some pics they included. Here are some pics on Flikr (and elsewhere) that show what the environment is like. (These are random pics of random people on Flikr...I don't know any of them, but appreciate being able to link to the pics to show The Mayan).

Here it is:

I went to the Mayan recently and have to say I have never been so disappointed in the place. With the exception of our waiter, the whole experience was a poor one. The Mayan used to be very kid friendly, and my daughter chose The Mayan for her 6th birthday. I was disappointed to find that they wouldn't even do a scoop of ice cream for the birthday girl unless I paid $25. (This is for a birthday package, so it's all or nothing.) Maybe $25 doesn't mean much to Mr. Miller, but to me it's a lot (especially on top of what I paid for dinner, not to mention how chincy it is to charge for a second bowl of salsa, after giving only 2 bowls for 3 baskets of chips). The kid seating us left my 77 yr old arthritic mother behind even though I asked him to go slow, I had asked for a table with extra room so we had a place for her walker and we got one that was a squeeze instead (it looked like it was made for 6 instead of the 8 in our party). Our waiter was very attentive, but everything else was very slow. Once we ordered, it took a half hour to get our food, we had to ask 3 times for ranch to go with the fries, and had to ask twice for soda refills for the kids. Then, when we asked for spoons for our preschoolers to eat rice, they brought us table spoons that I wouldn't want to put in MY mouth, much less a 2 or 3 year old's mouth. How do you expect children to eat rice with a fork?? Whoever made that decision obviously has no clue about kids. The clincher on our dissatisfaction was when we were forced to pay an 18% tip for such sub-par service (TIP=To Improve Promptness...why should they be prompt when they don't have to earn the tip?!?!?). The service wasn't worth 18%!!! Then, to add insult to injury, when we spoke with a manager about it, she made some poor excuses and a half hearted apology. It was as if she was bothered at taking the time to hear our complaints.

I don't know that we will be back to The Mayan for a long time, if ever. We may just avoid all LHM companies for a while.

Do you even care?? Your manager didn’t seem to.

Be assured that we do, and will tell people of our experience.

John

Any thoughts on this?? How would you have handled it?

Christmas Vacation

2008-12-05T18:18:00.006-07:00

I am soooo looking forward to my Christmas vacation. Not because of Christmas itself, though.

I LOVE Christmas and am looking forward to it, but I can be patient for Christmas. I don’t want it to come to fast, because the faster Christmas arrives, the sooner it’s over. Once it’s over, the festive air of the season stagnates into the gloom of winter. The skies seem greyer, the snow seems dirtier, people are less friendly, etc., etc.

No, I want TIME OFF WORK!!!

Don’t get me wrong…I love my job and the company I work for, not to mention I am just happy to have a job in this economy. I just need a break. I need a week where we can sit around and read a book, watch TV, and play with the kids, without worrying about what deadline or task is up next. I have a week off and plan to enjoy every minute of it. I also want to play card games and board games, and take drives that have no particular destination, and no time frame other than the next time the kids need to be fed. (They really expect that on a regular basis! What is it with that??)

Don’t get me wrong…I don’t expect a week completely free of responsibility. We will still have a task list, like finishing the Christmas shopping, getting the presents wrapped, etc. But what fun tasks! I just want to be able to sleep as long as the kids will let me, and set my own agenda for the day, along with my wife…to be able to play those games and take those drives.

I can hardly wait!

(Does this make me like a kid at Christmas? I hope so!)

A Christmas Concert

2008-11-30T19:19:00.009-07:00

Last night, we (my older 2 kids, my mother and my sister and her husband) went to see my wife in concert. She is a member of a 300 voice choir called the Sterling Singers. They performed with the Salt Lake Symphonic Choir and the Utah National Guard 23rd Army Band on Temple Square in the Tabernacle to kick off the Christmas on Temple Square concert season .

It was AWESOME!! The vocals were tight and the music was powerful. And, there were some beautiful arrangements of traditional pieces, and some newer, original pieces as well. My 2 favorite songs from the concert were Come Thou Long Expected Savior and Angel's Carol. (This link is not from the concert, or even from Sterling Singers, but from a Catholic group and they sound similar, but the men's part was better with Sterling Singers.) Take listen, I think you'll enjoy it. Here are some photos from just before the concert started (they don't allow photos or recording of the actual concert).

My wife is the one in the glasses in the middle of this pic intently reviewing her music.

For those of you in the SLC area, there will be another one on Sunday, December 21, 7:30 p.m. in the Granite Tabernacle, 2005 South 900 East, Salt Lake City, Utah.

I'm baaaaak

2008-11-27T09:44:00.014-07:00

Wow...I can't believe that it's been more than a year and a half. I was out of work when I last posted, and while I had time, I was not much in the mood to blog. Then, I started back to a full time job in Sept 2007 (I had still had my part time job throughout) I was working 60 hours a week and still needed time for the wife and kids. I quit my part time job in March of 2008, and never really seemed to have anymore time. Now, it's Thanksgiving day and I am enjoying the time to work on things.

I still feel like we never really recovered from the time I spent without a full time job, even though we tried to act like we had. I think that lead to deeper debt and more struggles. We have cut back on our spending tremendously, and are at least halting the downward slide, and have plans to make serious progress in the next few months (translation: after Christmas).

But enough whining...this is a day for thanks. Here is my thankful list:

my immediate family. My wife is wonderful, my older kids are maturing, and my little ones are FREAKIN' ADORABLE.

my extended family. I have seen enough about other families through the years to know that I had it so much better than I ever realized as a teen (why are we so clueless through those years??)

a good job. I work for a good company and recently transferred to a good, secure position (where I should be safe from any layoffs, if the company goes that route).

a good church ward. I love the ward we go to now.

(at the risk of being cliche') my health. I had some health scares this year and for a time we thought it was my heart, but that has been ruled out. I still have a lot of health problems, and will go under the knife early next year for bariatric surgery. That should take care of much of what I deal with, but I am still greatful that I DON'T have heart problems.

the Gospel. I am not nearly as stalwart as I should be or would like to be, but I am still grateful for this wonderful positive in my life.

Facebook. OK, this may sound cheesy, but I am. I have gotten back in touch with a number of friends and family, some of whom I had never thought to hear from again.

Nature. Seriously...I love going for drives in the mountains and the forest. I have long used going for a drive in the woods to de-stress and think through things (my wife is the same way). I loved the pine forests of Northern Arizona (this was taken behind the Junior High in Flagstaff where I worked a temp job). I also love the canyons along the Wasatch Front here in Utah, like this or this.

My kids have grown a lot in the year and a half since I last posted. Boo is almost 6 and in kindergarten (but unhappy at the forced break from school...can't wait until Monday). Punkin is 3 1/2 and tenderhearted as can be. Little Cat is 2 and VERY good at it. Here are some pics:

A Birthday Meme

2007-03-26T04:28:00.000-06:00

A) Go to Wikipedia

B) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year. November 9th

C) List five events that happened on your birthday:

1799: Napoleon Bonaparte leads a coup d'etat setting up the Consulate Government
1906: Teddy Roosevelt becomes the first sitting president to make an official trip outside the US (to inspect the Panama Canal)
1921: Albert Einstein wins the Nobel Prize in Physics for his work on the photoelectric effect
1985: Kasparov becomes the youngest world chess champion by beating Karpov
1989: Berlin wall comes down (not to mention that on the day I was born there was a 13 hour blackout in the Northeast US, and in 2004, Halo 2 and Mozilla Firefox were released...ok, so I'm not so good at trimming the list down!)

D) List five important birthdays and one death.

1934: Carl Sagan, American astronomer and writer
1936: Mary Travers, American Singer (Peter, Paul and Mary)
1955: Karen Dotrice, British actress (the sister on Mary Poppins and other Disney movies)
1964: Robert Duncan McNeill (Lt. Tom Paris on Star Trek: Voyager)
1965: Teryl Rothery, Canadian actress (Stargate SG-1's Dr. Janet Frasier) (Not to mention classic actresseses Heddy Lamar and Dorothy Dandridge, actor/body builder Lou Ferrigno, wrestler Chris Jericho, singers Tom Fogerty [CCR], Sandy “Pepa” Denton, Nick Lachey, Uncle Kracker, Sisqo’/Dru Hill, and Vice President Spiro Agnew)

The late great Art Carney died at 85

E) One holiday or observance (if any): US celebrates World Freedom Day (I didn't know that...did you know that?) to commemorate the falling of the Berlin Wall.

F) Tag 5 other bloggers to complete...I'll leave that up to you-just put a comment here linking to your meme.

Sunday Seven 3/25

2007-03-25T17:12:00.000-06:00

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

Suppose you're on a weight loss program and you're urged to come up with "rewards" for yourself for sticking to the program. Name up to seven rewards, that can't be related to food, that you would set for yourself.

Wow! That's a hard one, especially since we love good food (of many kinds). Lets see...7 things (in no particular order):

a trip to the movies
a drive in the mountains
a day in the park with my family
a new CD or DVD
a new cell phone accessory
a new tool
new clothes (happily needed)

What would you pick?

Classical Gas

2007-03-25T17:05:00.001-06:00

I found this cool video...I have always loved this song!

Mason Williams - Classical Gas
Uploaded by canadien1952

Enjoy!

Update (aka Shirley You Can't Be Serious)

2007-03-15T13:18:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the comment on my last post, Sisiggy. I guess that means I am half-way enlightened. I can remember the principle during the crisis about half of the time. Today was one of those days for me, but not for my wife. Let me explain...

I had a job interview 2 days ago, and things were looking good. It went very well, and they said that they would have an answer by the end of the week (tomorrow). My part time job is throwing a few extra shifts my way, which helps, and it looked like we were going to get to move on campus, which would cost initially, but would save tons in the long run.

But, no...

They said our credit wasn't good enough for us to move in. CAMPUS HOUSING said we need BETTER CREDIT TO LIVE THERE!!!

WHAT?!?!

Yes, you heard right. Of all the things...

I immediately started planning how to fix it, correct the errors on our credit report, etc. My wife...she was devastated. (This could lead to a whole other discussion about optimism vs pessimism/realism, but I won't go there.)

Anyhow...I just had to vent. I had better get back to writing letters and making phone calls.

long time...

2007-03-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, tragedy (or just something bad) turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to you. I recently lost my job, and I would say that I couldn't be happier, but I still need to pay the bills. I was working a very demanding position in a school based behavioral treatment unit for an even more demanding boss. Nothing was ever good enough for her, she gave few genuine positives, etc., (She da DEBIL!) and...long story short, I don't work there anymore.
(Maybe I should tell her to go play da foos ball!)

Still, I am a lot less stressed being out of that job. I am finding more time for many things (wait, that's just the unemployment talking!). I still have my great part time job (5 years now!) where I will go full time after grad school. I see more of my wife and kids, and get a bit of job hunting done in between.

I worked that job for 10 months, and my wife and I had a new baby 7 1/2 months ago. Between the 2, I haven't had time to blog. Now, however, I seem to be able to find the time. Let's see what I do with it...

Hero or Zero??

2007-03-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

I just took this quiz, and I must say I am disturbed by the results...lol

Quiz: Which Heroes Character Are You Most Like?

By Chris Bucholz

YOUR RESULT ( 30 points)

You're a Nissan Versa.

Superpower: Product Placement

You exist in a highly visible fashion. People feel the need to speak your name for no discernable reason. Your comrades will appreciate your above average gas mileage in the second and third seasons, when they battle Dick Cheney and the threat of high energy prices.

Sunday Seven for 3/4/07

2007-03-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

Name your seven favorite animals to see at the zoo.

monkeys, definitely the monkeys
elephants (I hand fed one once...it was cool!)
apes
birds (hunters, unless you can go in the aviary, then just the colorful or talking types)
petting zoo kids (no, not children, but baby goats-they are the softest thing ever!)
deer (when you can go in among the herd, like at the Grand Canyon Deer Farm)
meerkats

I also like to go see the bears if it's at Yellowstone Bear World just outside of Rexburg Idaho. You get to drive in and through the bear compound. One climbed on the hood of our mini-van and stared me down!

What about you?

I am Pooh

2006-09-30T09:54:00.000-06:00

OK, so there's something fundamentally wrong with that title, but there it is. I took this personality quiz. It's fun...give it a try!

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

My wife took the test, and this one actually sounds more like me than her:

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Sunday Seven 9/24

2006-09-24T19:30:00.000-06:00

OK, so it's been like a month and a half. Nothing like having a new baby and having your wife undergo 2 sergeries in 5 weeks to throw things out of whack! As much as I enjoy blogging, it just gets pushed down the priority list. Hopefully, I can get back into the swing of things. So, without further adieu, here is this week's Sunday Seven:

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:Name up to seven magazines that you either have subscribed to, currently subscribe to, or would subscribe to if money were no object.

The Ensign, The New Era and The Children's Friend (church magazines for adults, teens, and kids) -current
Time -previous (never read it)
Entertainment Weekly -previous (never read it)
TV Guide -previous (back when it was more useful)
Reader's Digest -wish
Men's Health -wish
Psychology Today or Social Work Today (or both) -wish

(ok, so that's 10, so shoot me!) ;-)

Sunday Seven 8/06

2006-08-06T22:28:00.000-06:00

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: Name seven cities you'd like to live in that you have not already lived in before.

Kittanning PA (where they filmed the Mothman Prophecies)
Punxsutawney PA (Home of the Groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil)
Payson, Heber or Show Low AZ (or anwywhere along the Mogollon Rim)
Seattle WA (vacationed and honeymooned there)
Vancouver WA (similar to Seattle, but quieter, slower paced)
Logan UT (near where I already live, but cooler)
Anywhere in Alaska (Definitely cooler!)

Why these cities, you may ask? (Go ahead, I know you want to)

All of them are greener and/or cooler than where I now live and where I grew up. I haven't dealt well with the heat in years, and would like to live in a cooler climate.

Feel free to add your Seven here (a note saying who you are would be nice if posting anonymously) or you can add them to Patrick's Weekender.

Why? Why? Why?

2006-08-05T11:01:00.000-06:00

Why? Why? Why?

It's shrill screeching pierces me to the core and makes my hair stand on end. It sends chills down my spine and makes me want to yell.

What is it you may ask?

The sharp, piercing sounds of a pre-schooler in the Why? phase. (Heaven help us!)

Sunday Seven 7/30

2006-07-30T22:37:00.000-06:00

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION: Name seven things you have done or would be willing to do to reduce your contributions to global warming.

First, let me say that I am far from being the poster child for this. (We bought an SUV less than a year ago.) But, I do what I can when I can. (Still, I should probably do more.)

we use pump sprays instead of aerosols when we can
I have used public transportation to get to work when feasible
I recycle my aluminum cans and cardboard when there are recycling bins available.
turn off lights etc when not in use.
buy products made with recycled materials when possible
I'm willing to buy a bike and ride it more, rather than driving
watch for further opportunities to conserve.

Not exactly the picture of dedication, I know...

I welcome any other comments posting your lists, but please put your name if you are listed as anonymous.

Thanks.

It was bound to happen...

2006-07-29T02:26:00.000-06:00

I should have expected it. On some level, I did expect it. It happens to my wife all the time when she's out with the 18 yr old and the little ones. And yet, when it finally did happen to me, it left me rather deflated. As a middleageddad, I should have expected it, been more prepared for it.

See, we were at my brother in law's house the other day for my nephew's birthday party. We had gone across the street to the playground. I ended up alone with Punkin and we decided to try the swing for Punkin's first time (she loved it).

So there we are, swinging away in toddler bliss, surrounded by the sounds of happy giggles, and then it happened. A nearby dad asked if Punkin was my grandchild! (cue the dramatic music and the thunder crashes)

OH! THE HORROR!!!

ok, now that I've got that out of my system...

I'm not really depressed about being middleaged, and tend to joke about it more than stress about it. I didn't have a hard time turning 40 (or 35, or 30...27 was a different story, but I digress). When I was asked the grandpa question, I actually thought more about the fact that I need to get in shape so I can look less middleaged than I actually am than I thought about my age.

Still, that doesn't mean I can't get some mileage out of it...
Oh! Woe is me!! (how was that??)

Sunday Seven 7/23

2006-07-23T18:00:00.000-06:00

OK, I am going to try a new meme. I tried the Monday Madness, because I have time to blog on Sunday evening, but they never posted the topic until late, so it didn't work. So, I am going to try a Sunday meme. Here it is:

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:Name seven of your favorite fictional detectives.

I have never really been into detective shows, so this isn't the easiest category.

Adrian Monk
Shawn Spencer (Psych) Along that same line, I would include Johnny Smith from the Dead Zone (not exactly a cop, but has to play detective to figure out his visions)
Quincy, M.E. (same as above)
Sue Thomas (Sue Thomas F.B.Eye)
Nash Bridges
Spenser (Spenser for Hire)
Mannix (ok, this one is old, but I liked it as a kid...more than Barnaby Jones, anyway)

Dadbloggers

2006-07-23T08:15:00.000-06:00

I have missed the last 2 months due to being so busy, but I am back on track and have a post out today on Dadbloggers. It's called Musings...check it out!

More cute pics

2006-07-22T06:53:00.000-06:00

Here are some more pics of my girls... Sunflower graduating from her CNA program, and Boo and Punkin napping.

Here are some of Punkin playing in the bath...and showing her "more is better" philosophy!

Boo showing us how high the Birdhouse is at the Children's Museum.

And Finally, Little Cat demanding food...and Ahh! contentment!

Excitement

2006-07-22T06:49:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! Little Cat is here!

Givin the baby loves!

Ain't I cute?!

Days 2 and 3 in Little Cat's life

2006-07-16T17:48:00.000-06:00

Here are more pics of Little Cat and her 3 sisters (L-R: Boo, Sunflower, and Punkin). Boo is without her glasses because Punikin got a hold of them and they need to be fixed. Sleeping (bein born is hard!) ...and sittin with big sis
Ready to go home.

Little Cat is Here!

2006-07-14T21:32:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in a while because my wife needed lots of help around the house while she was pregnant. See, she had a lot of hip pain and leg pain, and had to be off her feet, and my 18 yr old daughter and I split the load bertween us (she isn't working right now and is graduated from high school, so she had the time).

Anyhow, Little Cat was born today, Friday the 14th. Here are some pics (she had a high red blood cell count, and she bruised because she was born so fast, so she looked really red and purple at first). Here she is getting cleaned and weighed, and with Dad holding her.

Daddy got to give Little Cat her first bath (she didn't like it much).

More to come!

What was I thinking?!?

2006-06-25T18:48:00.000-06:00

He's not just the captain,
he's also a client.

Some days I think I can go without sleep, and others, I think I am nuts for thinking so.

Today is one of those days, and not a good kind of nuts either...more like a Brazil nut kind of day (if you like them, then pick a different example).

Both of my little girls are fussy and cranky, my 18 yr old is just cranky, my very pregnant wife has no more energy than I to deal with it, and I have a to do list as long as my arm that I was going to get done this weekend, and I'm fast running out of weekend.

{{heavy sigh}}

Monday Madness 5/15

2006-05-15T19:59:00.000-06:00

1. If I could change ONE thing from this past weekend, it would be MORE SLEEP!!!!!
2. One of my favorite recipes includes my meatloaf or lasagne.
3. If things don't go as originally planned, I tend to improvise.
4. My daily routine is very full...almost crazy.
5. The one television show I will probably miss, since the season is coming to an end, is Supernatural (but Monk and Dead Zone are starting up soon...yea!!!).
6. I have a calendar hanging/sitting on my (I don't, but did have in my office on the wall and on the desk before I changed positions).
7. I'm really a slacker about changing the calendar when the day/month changes.

How would you fill in the blanks (the underlined stuff)??

First Birthday

2006-05-14T18:25:00.000-06:00

My wife's family has a tradition of giving a child a whole small cake on their first birthday. We recently celebrated Punkin's first (at Wheeler Farm, and as you can see, her cake is almost as wide as she is. Punkin was NOT going to be intimidated by this!! (Especially not with big sis Sunflower backing her up!) She made a good start, but decided it was too slow...

Yumm!!! Want some??

Wow, the sweet stuff on top comes off!

My Goodness!! I'm in HEAVEN!!!

More Wheeler Farm

2006-05-14T16:42:00.000-06:00

Here are some more...

Boo milking a cow...

Boo and her cousin on a tractor...

and more to come!

Monday Madness

2006-05-08T21:43:00.000-06:00

I have started on a new meme called Monday Madness. Here it is:

1. List three words that describe YOU.
Funny, Articulate, Loyal

2. List three words that describe YOUR HOME.
Homey, Lived-in, Comfortable

3. List three words that describe YOUR TOWN.
Big, Busy, Diverse

4. List three words that describe YOUR STATE.
Diverse, Conservative, Welcoming

How would YOU answer these questions??

Endings and beginnings

2006-04-28T22:41:00.000-06:00

Today was my wife's last day of regular employment, and the kids last regular day with the sitter. The sitter just bawled as we left (she has tended both Boo and Punkin since they were 6 weeks old, and loves them very much - which is why we chose her). My wife was very bonded to her employers, much like they were family (it was a family owned business and they treated her like a daughter). While she has wanted to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) for some time, she was still sad about leaving, and commented that it was stupid that she had such mixed emotions when she is getting what she has wanted for so long. I told her that it wasn't stupid, as it was a loss to be mourned.

Cat Lady thinks that Boo has mixed emotions about it, too. She wants to stay home with mommy, and has been asking for months why mommy has to go to work every day, begging her to stay home. She also knows that she will miss her 'Tine (short for Christine), and the friends she has made at day care.

While it won't be the same, these are not complete endings. I have suggested that Cat Lady go visit the sitter once a week, as she and the sitter have become friends, and 'Tine will tend the girls on special occasions (date nights, when Little Cat is born, etc). Cat Lady and her former boss (and the boss's daughter who is her friend) have already made plans to go get pedicures, and will continue to do lunch, etc.

By evening, Cat Lady was emotionally drained and asked if I would take her for a drive to destress. We wandered around and ended up at La Caille. We have never eaten there (too expensive) but it has a wonderful grounds and atmosphere. It sits on something like 24 acres near the mouth of Little Cottonwood Canyon, and it's designed to look like an old French village. They have a cottage to rent out, but it's like $375/night. That includes a wood burning fireplace, dinner and breakfast for two. They have rabbits running around loose on the lawns, and peacocks roosting on the roof or walking the driveways. Manicured lawns, ponds, streams and a creek, Aspen trees and other landscaping make it very beautiful. We were there right at dusk, which only added to the atmosphere.

Never underestimate the power of escapism. By the end of our excursion, she felt refreshed and able to cope again.

C'mon, give us a squeeze!

2006-04-26T21:52:00.000-06:00

After staying late at work for a meeting, the Cat Lady and I took the younger kids to Wheeler Farm. We got to pet and feed some of the animals, take a wagon ride around the back woods of the property, and run around on the lawn. All of this right in the middle of the city. It was great.

Punkin and Boo were sooo excited to see all the animals. Sunflower missed it because she is on the Young Women's Camp planning committee. (She was ok with this because she's been there several times, and it just isn't as exciting for a 17 year old.) When she got home, Cat Lady said

"Tell Sunflower where we went."
Boo: The Zoo
CL: No, we went to Wheeler Farm.
Boo: Psht! (as she rolls her eyes) that's not the zoo!
CL: Tell her what you got to do.
Boo: I got to squeeze the bottom of some animal!
Sunflower: You...squeezed...a bottom??
Boo: Yeah! and MILK came out of it!!
Sunflower: Oh, you got to milk a cow!

(Cat Lady laughed so hard she almost peed, but considering she's pregnant, that's not saying much!)

Controversy

2006-04-23T12:45:00.000-06:00

My daughter and her friend are having problems getting along. Why, you might ask? A philosophical and theological difference of opinion.

You see, both were raised LDS (a.k.a. Mormon) but he drifted away from those beliefs. He is attracted to men, and can't reconcile that with church teachings, whereas she sees the direction he's heading (i.e. away from the church) and wants to head it off.

Really, it isn't that simple. He has broken promises to her repeatedly, and has gotten his friends to attack her verbally in spite of promises to keep their conversations between the two of them(and she may have gotten her friends involved as well).

I know that it isn't "politically correct" to see homosexuality as a moral issue. Religion isn't always politically correct (political correctness is often about "taking the sin out of things"). I want her to be able to stand up for what she believes, but I want her to avoid giving offense where possible as she stand up for what she believes.

As such, we're teaching her to separate the behavior from the person and be his friend even though she disagrees with his life choices. In otherwords, to "love the sinner but hate the sin."

Unfortunately, he can't seem to do that. He has personally attacked her for her loving expressions of concern about his choices (he may have seen her efforts as preachy, but that doesn't justify his verbal abuse).

She feels stuck between a rock and a hard place, and doesn't know what to do about it...she wants to be his friend, but won't condone his choices (of what to do with what he feels). He has pretty much rejected her, and there's nothing I can do to make that better.

::heavy sigh::

Missed opportunities

2006-04-23T10:37:00.000-06:00

My new post is up at DadBloggers. It's called missed opportunities. Check it out!

6 Weird Things...

2006-04-18T10:49:00.000-06:00

I got tagged to do a meme on 6 weird things about me that you may not have known about me. I agree with Kemp (thanks for the tag...) that weirdness is in the eye of the beholder. What Bob would find weird would reduce Liz to a quivering puddle of goo (take her reaction to Monty Python, for example). So, without further digression, here is my list:

I don't drink coffee, but I can in NO WAY function without my morning shower.
I love camping but hate sleeping on the ground and being dirty (see #1).
Lucky Charms marshmallows give me the heebie jeebies in a major way (nails on a chalkboard, however, don't bug me).
I once was president of a facetious organization called S.P.A.M. (Several People Against Monotony...we had a charter and everything, and Phil Collins was an honorary member).
I weighed just over 11 pounds at birth, and am still a large man. As such I often get called Big Bad John. (Working with youth, I often get called that, thinking it will bug me. I roll my eyes and say "Oh please! Can't you come up with anything more original than that?! I've been called that since the day I was born!)
I once flipped a quarter at the cash register counter and said "sorry for the mess" just like Han Solo did after killing Greedo at the cantina in Star Wars (what can I say...it seemed funny at the time, but so do a lot of things when you're a band geek on a sugar rush).

The meme was for 6 weird things. And now, for some not so weird stuff that you may not have known:

I know at least bits and pieces of 4 different languages (English and Spanish fluently, bits and pieces of French and ASL).
I was a radio DJ at a Spanish language radio station for a short time (KXMK - Sonido Cosmico, Arizona City/Casa Grande).
I have visited the states at all 4 corners of the continental United States.
I have lived in 5 of the US states, visited 17 (20 if you count the 3 where I never left the airport on layovers), 2 Mexican States and 1 Canadian province.
I would like to many more of the 50 states and various foriegn countries before I die.
While in public school, I learned to play the trumpet, the trombone and the guitar.

Now, for the fun part...those six lucky contestants I will now tag...

(So I can't count...so sue me!)

Easter Memories

2006-04-11T11:07:00.000-06:00

The last year that I remember my parents using real eggs when I was a kid, the count of eggs found was one short of the number hidden. We searched high and low, tore the house apart looking (too many spiders in our Az yard to hide outside), parents and oldest sister all racked their brains trying to remember where that last pesky egg was hidden. In the end, we decided that we had done all we could, and we would have to wait for our noses to find it in a few weeks. As luck would have it, the old schnozes never turned anything up, so we simply concluded that the count was off when they were hidden.

Boo is old enough to start getting into holidays and stuff, but I don't know that we are going to dye eggs with her this year, since we have a carpeted dining room. The Cat Lady does have some great craft ideas to do with her, and some ideas for keeping the Spirit of Easter so that Boo knows what it's about, beyond eggs and bunnies. (CL wants ideas for birthday celebrations, so go there and comment!)

I also remember going to the Easter Pageant on the Mesa Temple Grounds about the life, death and resurrection of Christ. We made it a yearly tradition. My wife has seen it with me, but none of our kids have. We will have to take a trip down there one of these years. (Sunflower may actually be living there by next Easter, so she'll get to go with my family.)

What's your favorite Easter memory? What's your wackiest?? (I would ask about your most embarrassing, but you probably wouldn't share it anyway!)

P.S.: thanks to Ryan and his post for getting me thinking along these lines!

There's a reason for that...

2006-04-08T09:15:00.000-06:00

My son has the nickname Goober, and not just on this blog. It isn't because of a resemblance to George Lindsey, or because he likes the Andy Griffith show, and it isn't because he likes peanuts. It isn't that we use Goober in place of his name either. It's that he's always doing something to make us say "You're such a goober!" to which he usually just laughs, gives a cheesy Cheshire Cat grin, or just says, "yeah, I know" (or some combination of all three). "Goober" can also be (and has been) traded for any one of a number of other fully interchangeable nicknames. For example, if he is acting particularly dorky, we will tell him he's a dork-boy or say "Wake up, Oh clueless one!"

And there is an abundance of cluelessness...a veritable cornucopia of cluelessness! For the longest time, his standard answer to most questions was "I have no clue." It became so commonplace that I started telling him "you realize that you just admitted to being clueless, right?" And of course, the typical response was usually "Huh? What? Oh. Well!...." (The first few times, you could almost hear the gears grinding as that processed.)

A few examples: "Sunflower," he says, "you're SUCH! a drama queen!" (said in tone that came near to being a pseudo valley-girl accent.) When he would get dramatic, I would ask him if he was "gettin' the vapahs" as if he were some southern belle. When he would try to use the same line in another situation, he would fan his face with his hand and say "the fumes!" (Huh? What? Oh. Yeah, that.)

His gooberish drama queen moments have their uses, though. He is great with kids. The Cat Lady's friend was staying with us a few years back, and he was playing swords with her 5 year old boy. Of course, he let the boy win and "stab" him occasionally. While in the throes of one particularly dramatic death scene, he fell back onto the stairs and said "Ungh...I've been stabbed! Gases are leaking out of every hole in my body!"

The response to this from his loving family and friends?

"The Fumes! The Fumes!"

SUCH! a Goober boy!

P.S. After watching Shrek, his nickname was "Lugnut the Flatulent!" Even the 5 year old got into it. While playing swords, Goober said he had a bomb. The 5 year old says "Yeah!...your BUTT!!"

Congratulate me!!!

2006-04-07T16:24:00.000-06:00

I was just offered a new job with my same employer. It's a lateral move, but it puts me back working with youth, and out of the nursing home where I have worked for some time now. I am really looking forward to the move. (It's going to be a long 2 weeks!)

Advantages of this move include:

Working with youth (which is really my calling in life)
Much less dealing with bodily wastes
Trainings cross apply with my part time job
No more using 1/2 my vacation time for trainings (see #3)
Down days (or vacation days) when school is out
No more joint venture politics (long story)

Disadvantages of this move include:

Working with youth (more swearing, aggression, etc)
Watch out, they spit! (see #2 above)
No more vacation pay at full time job plus added pay at my part time job for trainings
possibility of more trainings
kids more riled up and restless in class after down/off days
OK, so it's a joint venture and there may be politics (There may also be "joint" ventures to deal with!)

Sibling Rivalry

2006-04-05T12:55:00.000-06:00

I recently posted at DadBloggers about Sibling Rivalry. I am concerned about this, as I can see such a rivalry as a likelihood between Punkin (my 11 month old) and Little Cat (coming soon to a hospital near us).

My disappointment is that I only got one comment, and that was from a fellow DadBlogger with whom I do not relate well. I would like to hear how any of you have dealt with this issue in your families.

Thanks!

P.S. It was 17 years ago today that I moved to Flagstaff!! (I only lived there for 3 years, but I still really miss it sometimes.)

Conference

2006-04-02T11:19:00.000-06:00

I am watching General Conference right now...listening and typing at the same time. Maybe I should focus on what's being said. (Would this be called "pressured publishing?)

Yawn...

2006-04-02T04:02:00.000-06:00

It's been a week since I've blogged...that's a long time for an addict like me! Life has just seemed too stinkin' hectic to find the time. Not to mention, that I don't EVER get enough sleep, so I spend my spare time trying to get stuff done more quickly so I can get to bed earlier.

So, here I sit at 4:00 am (only feels like 3:00, but I only have 4 hours left...thank heaven for daylight savings time change) wishing I were at home in bed rather than at work blogging. Oops, now I can’t even blog because we just got an intake…I’d rather be blogging. :-(

Interesting...

2006-03-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Forlorn Philosopher.

Where You Lived: Romania.

How You Died: Buried alive.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Really??

You Are 28% Open Minded

You aren't exactly open minded, but you have been known to occasionally change your mind.
You're tolerant enough to get along with others who are very different...
But you may be quietly judgmental of things or people you think are wrong.
You take your own values pretty seriously, and it would take a lot to change them.

How Open Minded Are You?

Now this one, I believe.

Boo Speak

2006-03-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the car, Boo had something funny to tell her mom (the Cat Lady), but the conversation didn't exactly flow...

Boo: Mom! Guess what!
CatLady: A...purple gorilla is hiding in your bedroom?
Boo: No! I have to tell you!
CatLady: You said to guess!
Boo: But I wanted to tell you! (in that very unattractive whine)
M.A.Dad: Boo, when you want to tell, say 'Know what?' Try that.
Boo: Hey, Mom, I have something to tell you, OK? Know what?
CatLady: (stifling a giggle) What Boo?
Boo: Ummm...(looks upward and to one side, taps her finger on her chin)...

We can't even remember what it was she had to tell us, we were too busy laughing by this point!

Credit where Credit is Due

2006-03-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering about the picture on my profile, it's by Scott Mutter. He calls his stuff "Surrational Images" You can buy some of his stuff through his site, or here (or just look at more of his pictures). I own Escalators. I saw it and LOVED it, so my daughter (Sunflower) got it for me for Christmas that year (isn't she sweet).

I like it becuase it is unusal and out there. Basically, I like a good mindtrip. My favorite episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation was called Frame of Mind, (I know, Liz, you hated it) I also like The Matrix and Freejack, all of which are good mindtrips. Not sure what this says about me, except that I find reality too boring and confining. Maybe that's why I work in mental health!

Survey (please comment!)

2006-03-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

On the radio this morning, they gave a list of "get to know you" questions. They were suggesting them for first dates (they got them from Match.com), but I am going to post a few here. I know I only have about 5 readers on this blog, but I am curious as to what the answers would be. ("Drop-in” readers are welcome to comment as well. Comments are what make blogging fun for me.)

What's the most spontaneous thing you've done in the last month? …the last year?
If you could do college over again, what would you study?
How did your parents come up with/decide on your name?
Have you ever done something so evil, you would say it was E-VEEL, like it's the FRU-EETS of the DEV-EEL? (Yes or no is sufficient, I’m not asking to be an accomplice.) (OK, so I threw that one in myself.)

Our New Arrival (or) Coming Attractions

2006-03-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

My wife's obstetrician's office just recently bought a new ultrasound machine. They got it in plenty of time for her 20 week ultrasound, which was today. It has much better resolution than the old one. We could see motion, bones, fingers and toes, etc. There was one shot where you could count her vertebrae. In this profile shot, you can see our new baby's face, including her cute button nose, just like her 3 sisters. (I'm not biased, really! Just right!)

Random Question of the Day

2006-03-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

What is this to you??

A) a dream
B) a nightmare
C) a Glockenspiel mallet
D) Other (please specify)
.
.
.
.
.
Click here to see the answer.

(Hmmm...) or (Gratuitous parentheses moments)

2006-03-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

I just read my last post (below) and noticed the frequent (over)use of parentheses. I may (will) have to re-think my (gratuitous) (over)use of this literary (and pretentious) writing tool. (What do you think?)

"Boob Tube Parenting" or "The Cosby Solution"

2006-03-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have "Cosby Moments?" I'm not talking about the kind where you are all insightful and understanding, nor the kind where you put "leaves and twigs" in the sauce so your wife thinks you made it yourself. I'm talking about the kind where the kids are being annoying, and you say something ridiculous to try and stop the insanity! (Like: "I don't want either one of you to touch another person as long as you live!!!")

My daughter Sunflower (yes, that's a nickname, we're not hippies) is always the first to complain about it being cold. Last winter, she stated rather emphatically "Oh my gosh!! It's freezing in here!!!" I explained that water freezes at 32 degrees, if one uses the Fahrenheit scale (as we do in our home). I then pointed out that according to the thermostat, it was a balmy 70 degrees, after which I instructed her in the proper use and benefits of a sweater.

So, fast forward a year or so to this morning. In our usual whirl to get out the door in the morning (the 3 of us have to carry the 3 year old and the 10 month old from their beds to the car, gather and carry their clothes, get breakfast on the go, brush snow off the car and make it to the bus stop 5 miles away before 6:46 am or we have to drive her much farther to school), I didn't notice what Sunflower was wearing until it was too late to object. We dropped her off at the bus stop, and I see that she's wearing a long sleeve shirt (not a particularly thick one) and NO COAT! Now considering the frequency and severity of her complaints, this was frustrating to say the least. Of course, I set out on a mini-rant to my wife about the contradictory nature of our teenage daughter. Why didn't she wear a coat? My wife explained that she doesn't like to have to carry it around school, so she won't wear one. (Silly me, I thought that's what a locker was for!)

What was my Cosby-esque solution, you may ask? I said that if she could wait in the blowing snow for the bus, she can therefore adapt just fine to cooler temperatures and she should never be allowed to complain about the cold again! (Yeah, right!)

If I had to turn out to be a TV dad, why couldn't I have turned out like that guy from Father Knows Best? Or from The Brady Bunch? (I always wanted a den.) Or even Andy Griffith? None of them ever got their feathers ruffled...always calm, cool and collected (except at the occasional comically appropriate moment).

Oh, well, I guess I should be glad I didn't turn out to be a Homer Simpson, or an Archie Bunker (though my son would make a great Meathead!)

Calling who? For what?

2006-03-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

Boo’s latest thing is to talk on her flip phone. It’s a little toy “princess” flip phone and it makes real sounds, and she loves it. She is very into the pretend play lately. I like this, because imagination and pretend play are signs of high intelligence.

The other day, she said she had to call the “Premacy.” I, of course, said “who?” and she clarified that she meant the pharmacy. (She uses each term about half the time.) Now, it’s understandable that a 3 year old might not have the clearest idea of what a pharmacy does, but how she decided on what she thinks they do, I have no idea.

At home: [Boo dialing]
Boo: Hello, pharmacy? (she goes back and forth on the two terms.)
[pause] Umm, my little sister is getting into stuff, soooo, I need you to come and get her away from it. [pause] OK, thanks. Goodbye. [shuts her flip phone with an audible snap]

At the sitters: [Boo dialing]
Boo: Hello, Premacy? Umm, there’s a monster in the living room, soooo, I need you to come and get it. [gives complete description of the monster, it’s location and activities}

At home:
Boo: Mom
Mom: Yes, Boo?
Boo: I need to call the police.
Mom: Why?
Boo: I can’t find my phone. It’s just missing, it’s lost, and I need them to find it so I can call the pharmacy.

Huh??

Living Will

2006-03-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

??

2006-02-28T12:57:00.000-07:00

Do ya ever want to run away and hide from the world??

That would be why I haven't posted in a while.

Work sucks (one of my jobs, anyway).
Finances suck.
I have no friends I can hang out with (other than my wife).
My mother-in-law is the devil personified.
life sucks.

So why do I feel this way when I have a wonderful wife and great kids?

Sleep deprivation, money shortage, time shortage, etc.

DadBlogger

2006-02-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked to be a contributor on a website called DadBloggers. My first post came out today. Click here to check it out!

How's that again?

2006-02-21T16:50:00.000-07:00

The other night, my wife and I were out running errands, and left the two little ones with our 17 year old (Sunflower). My wife called and Boo was crying, so she asked to talk to her.

Wife: "Hi, Boo, what's the matter?"
Boo: [sound of Boo crying] "My head hurts."
Wife: "I'm sorry, what happened?"
Boo: "I went like this.." [audible thunk, Boo wailing] "And it hurted again!!"
Wife: "Oh, no! I'm sorry honey!" [stifled laugh]

It seems she had hit herself in the head with the phone, and didn't think to simply explain it when her mom asked what happened. When my wife told me about it, she said it was the saddest thing and yet the funniest thing you ever heard at the same time. Poor thing!

Other times she's sure she has it all worked out. My wife was talking with Sunflower about renewing a library video online so she didn't get fines. She couldn't think of the word for the library's website, so she just made a gesture toward the computer saying she would renew it on the...thing. Boo says "Mom" (in that tone of voice that just screams Duh!) "it's a computer!"

Whine-one-one pt. 3

2006-02-17T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well, Punky had her 9 month check up Wednesday, and we asked the Dr. about the sleeping thing (or not sleeping), and explained all we had done to get her past it. He said she had us well trained.

He also said that once her needs were met, to let her cry it out (sound familiar Jimbob?). I had advocated that with Boo, and honestly don't know why I didn't think of it with Punky. So, that night, we did just that. She took a half hour to settle down, and she woke and cried a time or two during the night. Last night, she wasn't feeling well from the shots, so we got her up and comforted her a while, but put her down before she fell asleep. It took 15-20 minutes this time, and she woke up and cried once. Hopefully it will go well for my wife while I work this weekend.

Boo Speak

2006-02-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

On Monday when I went to pick up Boo and Punky from the sitter, Boo came running, yelling "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" I scooped her up in my arms and hugged her. She smiled and looked at me, and her smile fell. I asked what was the matter, and she said "your chin." I couldn't think of anything about my chin that would cause such a reaction, so asked what she meant. She tilted my head back, looked at it again, and said "it's coming apart." I had no idea what she meant, so I went and looked in the mirror. Seems I had cut myself shaving, and didn't realize it, and there was a small spot of dried blood that had cracked apart. Today when I picked her up for the sitters, she told me with great satisfaction that my chin wasn't coming apart. I was so relieved!

For Valentine's day, we went out to dinner as a family (the wife and I will have our alone date on Saturday and go to a play). While at dinner, Boo kept making frustrated, disgusting noises. Finally, she looked around and said "where did that guy go? I need to get that guy." My wife suggested that she talk to "the guy" for her, and asked what the problem was. Boo explained (as if it should have been evident) that she needed a new plate "because my chicken is bothering my french fries." She kept trying to separate them and was bothered that she couldn't keep them from sliding together! Guess she was feeling a bit Monkish. (If you don't watch USA network, that probably doesn't mean anything to you.)

BlogMerge

2006-02-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

I decided that having 2 blogs didn't work, since the cute things my kids say are part of my Dadhood experience. I am going to merge the posts from my other blog and will delete it in a bit.

Whine-one-one pt. 2 ...or HELP!!

2006-02-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

So, the whole "going against theory" thing didn't work. She (Punky) still wakes in the night, and I am still over tired and frustrated. My wife has done some online reading about it, and has found that sleep disturbances often follow a period of illness, and that it is tied into needing to learn object permanence, yada yada yada. The only practical advice was to do what worked before. What worked before was to swaddle like a newborn, but she gets out of that, and we had wanted to move away from that anyway. It used to be that she couldn't fall asleep unless she was swaddled, and we needed to move away from that, and did. I have started doing it again after she's asleep, and it may help a little, but once she's awake (or even before) she's out of the swaddle and needs us to help her go back to sleep.

I would like any suggestions I could get. I realize I probably have about 3 readers, but I only need one suggestion that works.

Ideas?

Lingo from the Loo

2006-02-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

We went out to dinner tonight, and as always happens when there is a new restroom to explore, Boo had to go before we even sat down. I took her, got the paper ready, and stood waiting...and waiting. I asked if she was done, and she said "I'm going to do like mommy does." Now this made as much sense as if she had said she was a plaid chicken, so of course I asked what she meant. She said that she was going to "take her time." Her routine also includes telling me to wait and not flush it yet while she dresses (the loud noise scares her).

I think she has issues around restrooms. Not only does she have to go at every store, gas station and restaurant we go to, but she has to be in the room while my wife goes at home. (Daddy just says no.) Just after she turned 2, she barged in on my wife. My wife said, "excuse me, I need my privacy!" Boo was only too happy to cooperate. She said "OK, I'll help you find it," opened the door wide and started looking in the cupboard.

Comments, anyone?

2006-02-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

I have been blogging for a few weeks, and have seen that other blogs have many more comments than mine. I'm not sure why that is...maybe I tell stories in a way that is complete enough that there aren't any questions. Maybe I sound like a know-it-all, so there are no suggestions. I know that I have seen others that are much funnier. The point is that I would appreciate any comments you may have.

Actually, I have a question I would like feedback on. I will post it later today.

Frazzled

2006-02-05T23:18:00.000-07:00

Not much to say tonight...my 9 month old (who we'll call Punky, 'cause it fits her rambunctious personality) finally slept through the night, last night, but only after keeping her mom up half the night Friday while I was at work. My poor wife is so sleep deprived anyway, after dealing with two crying kids for half the night, she was at her wits end and called me to come help her at 3 am. Fortunately, I work close to home, so I could run home on my break and help her. Of course, after she had given her mom such grief, and settled right down for me.

Needless to say that my wife was very frustrated with the child. Of course, once Punky has slept, she is a happy child, and she has a great smile that will melt your heart, so you can't really stay mad at her. (Which can really tick you off!)

Chocolate

2006-02-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

Quick! Call whine-one-one!

2006-02-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

In the middle of the night, when my (almost) 9 month old is screaming because she wants to be held to sleep, I am the one going waaah!

This all started when she was sick so much this winter. She went from having croup, to croup again, to a cold, to RSV (which lasted a month). We would hold her in the recliner to sleep so she could be more upright and so we could pat her back to sleep when she half woke up coughing. Now she's better (still coughing though), and she still wants to be held to sleep. This means better sleep for her, and poorer sleep for my wife and me. But, you do what you have to do. I tend to see sleep as somewhat optional, anyway. With my schedule, I have more to do than I have time for, so sleep often gets sacrificed on the altar of scheduling need.

Being a something of (but not strictly) a behaviorist, I chose not to reward the screaming by giving her what she wants. I instead give her what she needs...a little reassurance (by way of a hug and a pat on the back), her mug plug, and blanket. I lay her down and pat her back to sleep.

Last night, I was too sleep deprived to stand beside the crib for any length of time (not to mention that she had hucked her plug into the book basket beside the crib and I had to get one from the living room), so I gave in and took her out to the recliner. I know, I know...you're thinking "you caved" and you would be right. If you know anything about operant conditioning, you are thinking "intermittent reinforcement! Now you have to start over!!" Well, at midnight, with no sleep, I didn't really care.

Stupid thing is, contrary to all theory, it worked. DOH!! She slept without a peep until we woke her to go to the sitters sometime after 6:30.

Guess it's time to revise the theory and the practice!

Chapix and Glasses

2006-02-02T23:56:00.000-07:00

My Boo is 3 yrs old, but talks like a 5 or 6 year old. The result of this is that she is constantly coming up with something to make us laugh. My extended family always gets a kick out of it. Here are some examples: The other day she told her big sister that she needed some more chap stick (which she had called "chapix" when she was smaller) because her "tongue washed it all off."

She got glasses a couple weeks ago, and told her mom "when daddy's in trouble, I'll look at him like this" and tilted her head down so she could look over the top of her glasses.

A New Blog

2006-02-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

I decided that doing this on a separate blog wasn't going to work, so I merged the posts.
So, I know I am not different than any other parent in this, but I really believe that my kids are the cutest things on planet earth! Yes, I know I'm biased, but I'm also right, because my 3 yr old (Boo) and my 8 1/2 month old (My 17 yr old calls her Boogers, but I am waiting for a better nickname to turn up) are stinkin' cute!! The amazing thing is that I of all people have such cute kids. I give my wife credit, but she denies it and says they get it from me. (She must be blinded by love!)

Anyhow, If you remember or heard of the old Art Linkletter show (which was remade by Bill Cosby for a short time), it was called "Kids Say the Darndest Things." They would interview kids just to see what they will come up with. I think my 3 yr old would do very well on this show (once she gets over being shy at a new situation), as she loves to talk.

So, I wanted a place to put all the cute things my Boo says, so I created another blog. I have placed a link in the side panel, but here it is again.

Enjoy!

The rest of the brood

2006-01-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

Here are my other kids: my 3 year old...

My 17 and 18 yr olds:

Peekaboo

2006-01-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

My 9 month old just learned what peekaboo is. She doesn't cover her own eyes, but when we cover them and say peekaboo, she giggles and belly laughs. It is adorable!! I know, I know...you had to be there or it isn't so cute (unless you have kids and HAVE been there...then you know).

Here she is being held up by her 17 year old big sister.

Speaking of cute...my 3 year old told me last night that the toilet was flogged, and I should go unflog it!

Scenic Utah

2006-01-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

My wife and I went for a drive today into a rural area that gets a lot of snow (Woodland). It was beautiful. We spent about 3 hours on the road, talking and listening to music. We daydreamed about having a house out in the woods, munched on snack foods, and talked some more. It was very relaxing.

We then went up Mirror Lake Highway and did more of the same. Neither highway is open all the way over the mountain in the winter, and on one we went all the way to the road closure, and on the Mirror Lake Highway, we went to the National Forest Boundary. Both areas were beautiful, covered with snow. Much of it was still pristine, in spite of the popularity of snowmobiling in the area.

I love both of these drives in the Spring and Summer as well. My favorite parts of the drive are the Upper Provo River Falls and Mirror Lake itself.

Beautiful, huh? There is some great scenery in Utah. The only problem is there aren't enough areas with lots of trees. Still, I think we have managed to find some great areas within a fairly short drive.

Ugh!

2006-01-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's 4:30, and I have had this posting window up for about 4 hours. What have I done in that time? a little work, a little break, and lots of reading other blogs. Now, I am so bleary eyed, I can't think enough to write anything more coherent than this. Probably how my wife feels all the time, since between her insomnia, an 8 month old who doesn't want to sleep in her own bed, and being pregnant, she is always tired.

What a trooper she is!!

Never thought I would say anything "Barbie" was cute

2006-01-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

We got my 3 year old's glasses yesterday. They are a really cute Barbie frame. She's really cute in them, but part of me is sad that she has to wear them at such a young age. (She has strabismus where one eye turns in...like being half cross-eyed.) It's not the simple fact of wearing them...her big sister and both parents wear them so it's no big to her. She is actually adjusting to them very well so far.

It's the fact that kids can be so cruel, and sooner or later, she will come up against that. I know I can't protect her from everything, but she is such a social little person, I would hate to have that damaged by some hateful little snot. I just hope that by time she starts school, they will be such second nature to her that she isn't self-conscious about it. Meanwhile, we will just have to do what we can to prepare her to deal with it.

Ewww!

2006-01-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

Throw up. Like it or not, it's part of being a dad. I ended up having to wear jeans to work tonight rather than slacks as I should because of dealing with throw up.

Enough said.

What was I thinking?!?

2006-01-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

My wife and I asked ourselves that many times as we prepared for the birth of our first child together just over 3 years ago at ages 35 and 37. It would seem that we never came to a satisfactory answer to that question, as we have since had a second child, and now have a third one on the way. I am 40 years old and becoming a Dad again! (Feel free to question my sanity...I do it all the time.) Add to that the fact that I work in social services and don't' make nearly enough money...as if being 40 and all that goes with it (low back pain, aching joints, waning energy, etc.) wasn't enough.

Money: that's what has really on been on my mind today. I'm a bit stressed over having over-extended ourselves financially, and some money we are expecting hasn't come it (yet). That's short term...the long term is also a concern. My wife is going to quit her very well paying job to stay home with the little ones. We can eliminate a lot of our monthly expenses with her retirement, but we will still be short about $450 per month. We are looking into some home-based businesses to supplement, but haven't really started anything up yet.

But, it's all worth it. My 3 year old is Daddy's girl and the apple of my eye. My 8 month old is rapidly gaining the same status. My 17 yr old is caring and helpful, and great with the little ones. My 18 yr old is developing into a fine young man (finally). ;-) One more on the way can only mean more love to go around (as well as more expenses and chores and clean up etc).

The thing is, I knew it would be this way. Since I was 16 I have looked forward to being a Daddy. I somehow knew that it would be the most rewarding, fulfilling thing in my life and it is. Even when I am having to discipline a child who is even more stubborn than I am, it's worth the headaches. I take away from it much more than I put into it. I can't imagine my life without those kids.

And that's the answer. I just need to take the time to remember it.